Romance scams: how they work and where to report them

A romance scam is a relationship that someone builds on purpose to take your money. It isn't a misunderstanding or a relationship that went sour. It's a plan, often run by organised groups, and it follows a script.

The scale is large. Report Fraud, the UK's national fraud reporting service, received 10,784 reports of romance fraud in 2025, up 29% on 2024, with losses of more than £102 million and an average of about £9,500 per victim. It found that people aged 55 to 74 lost the most, nearly half the total. Men made more reports, but women lost more money overall. In the US, the FBI and the FTC both warn about the same patterns, and the FTC's rule is short: don't send money or gifts to anyone you haven't met in person.

How the script runs

Most romance scams go through the same stages. Knowing them is the best protection there is, because you can spot the stage you're in.

UK Finance's 2026 annual fraud report found that romance scams involved more payments per case than any other type of scam it tracks, which fits the script: one "last" payment rarely is.

The stories scammers tell

The details change; the shape doesn't. Every one ends in money, your bank details, or your help moving money.

• The emergency. A hospital bill, an arrest, a stolen wallet abroad.
• The fee. Customs, a visa, an inheritance release, a "processing charge" to get their own money out.
• The travel. They'd love to visit, if you could just cover the flight.
• The investment. After weeks of warm chat, a trading app or a crypto platform that has made them money. The FTC warns specifically about love interests who offer to help you invest.
• The favour. Receive money into your account and pass it on. The FBI warns that romance scam victims are used as "money mules" to move stolen funds, which can draw you into a crime even though you were deceived.

Signs to stop for

Report Fraud's advice, published with its 2025 figures, lists the signs that matter most:

• someone who forms a relationship very quickly or expresses strong emotions early on;
• excuses for avoiding in-person meetings or live video calls;
• requests involving investments, emergencies or travel costs;
• any request for money, cryptocurrency or gift cards from someone you haven't met face to face;
• something that feels suspicious or pressured. Talk it through with a trusted friend or family member.

Our guide to spotting a fake or scam profile covers the profile and photo signs that come before any of this.

The two checks that stop most scams

A live video call. A scammer using someone else's photos can't show you that face live. Ask for five minutes on video before you invest your feelings. If the camera is always broken, that's your answer. Our guide on why a video call comes first has easy wording.

A firm money rule. Decide now that you won't send money, gift cards or crypto to anyone you haven't met in person, whatever the story. Tell them it's a rule you keep. A real partner will understand. A scammer will push, sulk or vanish.

If you've sent money: the first hour

Act quickly, in this order. Speed matters more than having every detail.

1. Stop paying, even if they promise the next payment will release a refund.
2. Call your bank or card provider. In the UK, dial 159 to reach most banks safely. In the US, call the number on the back of your card. Say you think you've been scammed.
3. Keep everything: messages, profile screenshots, usernames, payment receipts.
4. Report it to the right service (below).
5. Report the profile from inside the members area, then block it.

In the UK, if you sent a bank transfer by Faster Payments or CHAPS on or after 7 October 2024, the Payment Systems Regulator's rules mean your bank must normally reimburse authorised push payment fraud up to £85,000, as long as you report it within 13 months. Banks may deduct an excess of up to £100. Card, cash and crypto payments are covered by different rules, so ask your bank.

Where to report

If someone threatens to share intimate images unless you pay, don't pay. Report it to the police, and in the UK contact the Revenge Porn Helpline on 0345 6000 459. Be wary of anyone who contacts you afterwards offering to recover your money for a fee: it's a known second scam.

Why sensible people get caught

Romance scams work on kind, trusting, capable people, not careless ones. They're built around time and feeling: weeks of attention, daily good-morning messages, someone who remembers everything you say. By the time money is mentioned, it doesn't feel like a stranger asking. It feels like someone you care about in trouble.

That's why the protection isn't being cleverer than the scammer. It's having rules you decided in advance, before any feelings were involved: no money to anyone you haven't met, a video call before you invest your feelings, and a trusted friend who sees the messages if anything feels pressured.

If it's happening to someone you love

Start with the pattern, not the person: "I read about scams where someone you've never met needs money for a fee or a flight." Offer to look at the messages together and to make the bank call with them. Avoid blame. Shame keeps people paying and stops them reporting, and these scams are built to fool kind, trusting people.

How Just Singles helps

Every photo is reviewed before it goes live, members can add an ID check and show a badge, and you can report or block anyone from their profile. Keep conversations on the site until you've met, because that's where reporting works best. Everything else is on our safety page.