Sextortion: what to do if someone threatens to share your images

Sextortion is a form of blackmail. Someone gets hold of intimate images or video of you, often by pretending to be a romantic match, then threatens to send them to your friends, family or employer unless you pay or send more. It's frightening and it feels shameful, which is exactly what the blackmailer is relying on. It is not your fault, and there are clear steps that help.

How it usually starts

The pattern is consistent enough that you can learn to spot it early. In a 2021 warning, the FBI said most victims reported that the first contact was made through dating websites and apps.

1. A very attractive, very keen match. Flattering from the first message, quick to flirt, light on everyday detail.
2. A move off the site. They suggest switching to another messaging app, often within a few messages, sometimes with an excuse about rarely checking the site.
3. Pressure for images or a video call. They may send an image first to build trust, then ask for one back, or suggest a sexual video chat.
4. The turn. Minutes or hours later, the tone changes. They send screenshots of your profile and your friends or followers, and demand money, often by gift card, bank transfer or crypto, with a deadline.

Some sextortion doesn't involve any real images at all: a bulk email or message claims your webcam was hacked. Treat those the same way: don't reply and don't pay.

If it's happening now: the first hour

Take a breath. You have more control than it feels like you do.

1. Stop replying. Don't negotiate, plead or argue. Every reply tells them you're engaged.
2. Don't pay. The Internet Watch Foundation's advice for adults is that paying is unlikely to end it: a blackmailer who is paid once usually asks again.
3. Keep evidence. Screenshot the messages, the profile, usernames, any payment details they've given and the dates. Don't delete the conversation yet.
4. Block them on every platform once you've saved the evidence.
5. Report the profile to every site or app where they contacted you. On Just Singles, report and block from their profile or the conversation.
6. Report it to the police (see below), and tell someone you trust. You don't have to handle this alone.

If you have already paid, stop now, report it, and contact your bank or card provider straight away. Our romance scams guide explains how to report money you've sent.

Where to get help in the UK

• Police. Call 999 if you're in immediate danger, or 101 to report it. You can also report it at your local police station.
• The Revenge Porn Helpline is a free, confidential UK service for adults aged 18 and over. It lists webcam blackmail and sextortion among the issues it helps with, and it helps with reporting and removing content. Phone 0345 6000 459, open 10am to 4pm Monday to Friday, excluding bank holidays. It also has an online contact form and a 24/7 advice chatbot on its website.
• StopNCII.org, which the Helpline points to, creates a hash, a digital fingerprint, of an intimate image so participating platforms can detect and remove copies. It's for adults who were over 18 in the image and still have access to it. People under 18 are directed to a separate tool, Take It Down.

The law in England and Wales. Since 31 January 2024, section 66B of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 has made it an offence to threaten to share a photograph or film that shows, or appears to show, another person in an intimate state. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own laws; the police can advise wherever you are.

Where to get help in the US

• Police. Call 911 if you're in danger, or your local police non-emergency line.
• The FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov takes reports of sextortion. The FBI's advice is to stop all contact with the extortionist and not to be embarrassed or afraid to contact law enforcement, adding that thousands of people are targeted by this scam.
• StopNCII.org can also be used from the US by adults who were over 18 in the image.

Getting images taken down

If an image has been shared, or you fear it will be:

• Report it to the platform where it appears. Most have a specific option for intimate images shared without consent.
• In the UK, contact the Revenge Porn Helpline for help with reporting and removal.
• Use StopNCII.org so participating platforms can block copies.
• Keep a record of every report you make and every reference number you're given.

How to make it much harder to happen

You don't have to stop flirting or stop enjoying your sex life to protect yourself. A few habits do most of the work:

• Video call before things get intimate. A short, ordinary video call proves someone is who their photos say. Scammers avoid real calls, or offer only a call with their camera "broken". Our guide to video calls before meeting explains how to ask.
• Keep early chat on the site. Moving to another app straight away is a classic step in this scam. There's no rush.
• Be cautious about intimate images with anyone you haven't met. The FBI's blunt advice is never to send compromising images to anyone, whoever they say they are. If you do share images with a partner you trust, consider leaving out your face and anything identifying, like tattoos or your bedroom.
• Lock down what's public about you. Blackmailers threaten your friends because they can find them. Our guide to online dating privacy shows how to make that harder.
• Know the signs of a fake. Our guide to spotting fake profiles covers the photo, profile and message clues.

If a friend tells you it's happening to them

Stay calm and don't judge; the shame is already doing enough damage. Help them stop replying and save the evidence, and remind them not to pay. Offer to sit with them while they report it to the police or call the helpline. Knowing someone is on their side often makes the next step much easier to take.

Looking after yourself

People targeted by sextortion often feel panicked, ashamed or unable to sleep. Those feelings are a normal response to being threatened, and they ease. Talk to someone you trust. In the UK, Samaritans answer calls day and night on 116 123; in the US, you can call or text 988. If you feel at risk of harming yourself, call 999 or 911.

What happened says something about the person who did it, not about you. Report it, get the support that's there for you, and when you're ready, come back to dating with the habits above. Our safety page has everything else in one place.